Is it just me, or does most baby photography leave a lot to be desired? Like… babies? It’s all so Anne Geddes-like and “oh let’s put a baby in a bucket” and “oh baby is so cute dressed up like a green bean” and “oh oh oh” and over the top.

Apparently in the minority, I like babies as babies. And these photos from Hello Pinecone couldn’t be a finer example of baby photography at its best. What do you think?

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2. Toward the end of her pregnancy, be surprised every time you see her. Say things like “Are you STILL pregnant.” and “Haven’t you had that baby yet?” and extra helpful “I guess it just doesn’t want to come out” – which is nice because it points out the delivery she is *clearly* putting off and it’s a little gross too.

1. Touch her belly. The less you know her, the better. Just walk up to her and start molesting her stomach. Make an “MMmmmm” noise while you do it. If that doesn’t get her going, put your face right up to her belly button and talk into it like a microphone. Ask the baby how they’re doing and listen for an answer. If that still doesn’t upset her, comment how her baby doesn’t move much because it didn’t respond to your voice and how she may want to talk to her doctor about that.

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Ways to Piss Off a Pregnant Woman … could not have said it better myself.